“The key is just to treat your staff how you would like to be treated.” Richard Branson. Applying the Golden Rule in business makes sense or does it? Consider this case:

My program coordinator stepped into my office. I thought she wanted to thank me for sending her to the Best Practice Conference in New York. She would present our work, improve her promotional prospects and meet her counterparts across the globe.

She asked, “Mr Wee. Why am I going for this conference?” “I think it’s…” She interrupts –

“I love my work, but I hate being in the limelight and making presentations. I know you think this is good for my career. But did you think of asking me what I want?”

I didn’t. It never occurred to me that anyone would not want better prospects, more money, a trip to the Big Apple and the excitement of being recognised for her work. I know I would jump all over this opportunity.

And there you have it. I was applying the golden rule – treat others the way I want to be treated! But that’s not how she wants to be treated. And if she doesn’t eventually get her way, she will walk out the door!

You might guess that the problem becomes more acute between a 52-year-old manager who cannot relate to a 24-year-old staff, but you can get a lot of friction between a 35 year old Gen X and a younger Millennial too. The problem has less to do with culture or age, and everything to do with a flawed supposition – that any two people will want the same thing. People want to be treated as unique beings and they repel when others try to impose their values and preferences upon them even if they believe these are morally sound and/or in their best interest.

So how about if we treat others as THEY want to be treated. Here is what this means and looks like. Many Baby Boomers and Gen X managers were brought up in an environment of ‘no feedback is good feedback.’ But for Millennials, feedback is a good thing and they want it – often. So, the best companies like GE, Microsoft and Accenture are giving them feedback the way they want it – through app updates, peer feedback – and frequently. Waiting till something goes wrong -aka Annual Reviews – is too late.

So, to treat your people the way they want to be treated, consider these:

1.  Can you get the best out of your people if YOU don’t change?

2.  Do you KNOW your people- their values, dreams, passion, strengths and weaknesses?

Treat others in a way that they want. This is not easy. But make the effort and make a difference. Remember, if you manage people the way you want to be treated, you forget that they are not YOU!

Your thoughts please.